Friday, February 24, 2012

Why do my Parents HATE Me?

Before judging, please read my entire question.





I am 30 years old and live at home with my dear, sweet parents. I have been there for four months now, ever since I quit my job with Disney Cruise Lines. I just didn't care for the position. As it stands, I told them over coffee when I first settled in that I would not leave their house until a job called offering me $100,000 a year. Hell I see plenty of rich, snotty girls downtown with major bank buying what they want and it makes me so jealous. I doubt these office women worked hard to where they got- Daddy's connections surely got them placed (I mean, explain all the women who are "smart" at work but dumb when they're in bars or out in clubs). No, I'm a very respectful and reserved social person, and I should be making more money.





Anyways I have a BA and tons of work experience- writing for papers, fact checking, entertainment performing, singing, program development- you know, the works. No one was calling me for a job and I was starting to get desperate. Even desperate enough to start demanding $95,000 instead of $100,000. Then the phone rang! It was a employment company I had applied for asking me to come in and interview for a content writing position. I was ecstatic. I borrowed my mom's lipstick to doll up as they say, got in a dress with flowers on it, and waltzed out of the door like I owned Chicago.





After the interview, the lady was very impressed and then asked me about my salary requirements. This was it- the big question. I cleared my throat, took a sip of my Starbuck's coffee (they did allow me to drink it there), and said "I won't settle for less then $100,000." I smiled confidently, knowing I had made the right decision.





The lady laughed a bit, and then told me they could only get me going in the mid 40s range. "Like $40,000? That's it?" I asked. The lady was patient, telling me she valued my experience and encouraged me to try it since they needed someone with my skills and I could move up easily. I wasn't listening anymore though, as I got up and put on my V-kneck coat.





"Look honey. You give me a ring when you're ready to give me $100,000 a year plus three days off a week. I don't work Fridays. Other then that- I have parents who support my career decisions and also give me a place to sleep. Peace out."





The woman seemed shocked but then shrugged as I walked out and said good by to the secretary. I knew I had made the right choice- and I could always call the company back. There were some other people dressed up in suits waiting in chairs by the office I interviewed. Who could they be, I thought. Probably employees taking a break when they should be at their desks. Lazy jerks.





When I got home I was beaming. I actually had been offered a job and turned it down! My mother and father were eating dinner and seemed happy that I was happy.





"How did the interview go?" My mother seemed anxious.





"Well, they offered me the job for $45,000 a year..." I began. My parents interrupted with cheers and hoots. My mom gave me a hug and then asked when I thought I would start so I could begin looking for an apartment. I interrupted them back.





"I declined it. I told them I wouldn't work for less then $100,000. Remember, we had this discussion. Now can I borrow $20 for dinner tonight? I'm broke since I don't have a job right now."





But my parents were not so understanding. My mother blew up- calling me a lazy leech who was a fool to decline such a great offer in this economy. My father told me to leave his presence, and that they would decide what to do with me later. I couldn't believe it! I tried reasoning with them- telling them that as long as they don't charge me rent, food, cable or phone, I would do my part in helping out too- like answering the home phone and taking messages, and locking the door for them when they went to work in the morning- If I was up yet. They didn't seem to think that was enough. I was so upset I cried in my pillow until 2am, and then had some half gallon ice cream and watched "I Love Lucy" to cheer myself up. The next morning I slept until 3pm, so I wasn't able to lock the door behind my parents. When the phone rang I ignored it. That's what those barbarians get for not supporting my life choices. The job refused to pay what I was worth. I wrote my parents a hand written letter saying in summary that until I was offered $100K I would remain in their home. The latest update is my parents refuse to speak to me and have given me a 30 day notice to leave or they will take higher action. What can they do? I'm their daughter.





Advice on this?





And I know this is the religious section, but you all are always so great about responding.|||They don't hate you. They're just frustrated because you lack wisdom, you made a stupid mistake, and your behaviour was appalling. Let me repeat, your behaviour was patently unprofessional and you don't deserve what you think you deserve (assuming this story is completely true, which I doubt it is).





Your mother and father are absolutely correct; you would be wise to heed them, especially since you're taking advantage of their kindness, and since this economy is getting progressively worse (ergo, jobs are scarcer and the world is full of writers).





Aside from your overdeveloped sense of entitlement and cavalier arrogance, your attitude requires considerable work. In the HR world you are what we call a "bridge burner" or, more accurately, the "mindless self-saboteur".





The market is saturated not just BAs, but MBAs who, I can assure you, exhibit far more professionalism out of college than you've demonstrated in this email, and who would gladly jump at $40,000 as an interim career step (whilst living with their parents) to buy themselves time until they could find a job offering a higher compensation range. Instead, you've become intoxicated by ignorance, obsessed by a "fixed idea" - as psychologists term it - on an absurd compensation figure. Frankly, your behaviour was irrational. And while this might seem like a harsh or unfair commentary, I'm simply trying to help you see what others "see". I know because I'm tasked with hiring and terminating people all the time.





If I were the interviewer and a prospective candidate responded with "I won't settle for ..." or "Look honey. You give me a ring when you're ...", I would have replied "It was a pleasure meeting you...good luck with your search" and then personally checked candidate status = "Non-hirable/rehirable". The fact that she ostensibly urged you to (still) join indicates you're exaggerating or the employer is very naive.





There are families out there with children who subsist on far less than $30,000 a year and here you are obsessing about the Jones', what they buy, and how they spend their money.





Stop being your own worst enemy, grow up, stop thinking about yourself (or at least try to see yourself as your parents do), and when you land a job, thank the Universe and your parents for those blessings.





Your parents want you to succeed, but the way you've couched this whole scene would be enough to upset any parent (or professional).





Kind Regards,


Eva|||Lol. :) Loving the sarcasm.|||Honey!





It's not just your parents that hate you, I do too!!|||i'm gonna report you|||honestly i dont blame your parents for the way they feel about you. you deserve so much worse if you ask me. you are 30, stop acting like you are 5. you were offered a nice job and promised that you would progress quickly through to a higher position. you treat your parents like they owe you something and youve got nothing to give to help out. seriously.. get out of your emotions! its hard enough to get a job now days and you quit one without a back up and you turned another down. you fail is SOOOOO SO EPIC!!!





stop free loading and do something with your life.|||"but you all are always so great about responding."





You mean you've discovered that people feed trolls here?|||if I were you, I would simply blame your parents for not being more wealthy. My parents would've been horrified over a 45k salary offer.



in metro atlanta 45k salary would be barely enough to survive off of, certainly you would not have health insurance.



"Idelness youre a liar. Im from Chicago, which is more expensive then MetroAtlanta"



you sure? typical rent here is 900-1300$...dunno what it is in chicago but if you go by the fairly reliable theory that rent should be 1/3 your expense...thats not adding up to 45k sweety.|||Well, honey, I don't get out of bed for less than $10k a day, so I know where you're coming from. Your parents will calm down in a day or two. Go have a latte and get your nails done. No need to stress about any of this.|||You are way too greedy... No one gets that much money getting hired into a job. Also, you offer very little to help your parents. You seem somewhat selfish, and your did turn down a great job offer.|||I can understand their anger. They are mad because you are trying to leech off of them long enough until you get a job that apparently you do not deserve. You are acting greedy and conceited. You have too much pride. All you have is a Bachelor's degree! That is not worth 100k! A Ph D is! No wonder you live with your parents. And also, you expect a company to pay you 100k when you have a degree that would get you paid 50k at best? Ha! What a laugh!|||Because you're spoiled, and a troll.|||I think you should listen to your parents advice and call the lady back and see if they're willing to go up from $45,000. You can't just walk into a 100k job you know no matter how well qualified you are.





Also quitting a job without having another job to go to is very irresponsible. You say you're 30 years old but you have the maturity of a teenager. Bills need ot be paid and if you can't get the job you want you need to take what you can get to pay the bills whether you like it or not, that's called being grown up. My heart goes out to your parents who are sacrificing their hard earned money to financially support your irresponsible work ethic. Please grow up quickly, they've looked after you for 30 years, they're probably not that young anymore and shouldn't have to be worrying about you like this.





Don't think that you're worth whatever you want to ask or whatever your previous employers were paying you, you're only worth what employers are willing to pay for your services. Talk seriously to a careers adviser and start taking your finances more seriously.|||So first you lost your job bagging groceries...





Now you have lost your job as a writer...





My My. That was very fast work. sorry - reporting you for abuse.|||depending on where you live - it's hard to answer. unless you are in donwtown chicago- it's NOT more expensive. also, $100K to start in a new career is ludicrous. unfortunately, you sound like a rather selfish, spoiled female who thinks she's entitled to have things her way. you may have been your parents princess when you were a child but.... you are no longer a child. welcome to the real world toots! you have NO RIGHT to mandate that you WILL live in your parents home. i'm sure they are saddened to have a daughter that they raised to be so selfish.





i really hope this is a pathetic attempt at a joke or something. BTW.... unless you were a director or in sales.... NO ONE IN THE DISNEY CRUISE FAMILY makes $100K.|||are you crazy?? Do you pay them rent?? if not then start...they could drive you to the homeless shelter...GET REAL....CHOICES ARE limited right now...troll alert

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