I want to Commit Suicide, Why?

This is going to be detailed, but if you can help me please do.



I am 28 years old and have a Bachelor of Arts degree from a Film School. I wanted to be a screenwriter, but have so far had only a handful of my projects made into short films, and none of them won any contests or were picked up. I live in Chicago and for some reason its hard as balls to get anything going with my film career. Despite what some may think, Chicago is only really theater based. Everyone else is very safe and very midwestern. Nothing ever happens here. I am comfortable though because I have a decent job that I walk to and so I don't feel the need to "go". My parents also live close by.



I don't have a relationship, don't want to get married %26amp; the job I have barely pays the rent. But no other jobs are hiring me despite my prestigious experience (I worked as a reporter for the Chicago Tribune, have been published %26amp; have 10 years of customer service experience, mainly working with children and giving tours at a museum).



I also just got hired to work on Disney Cruise Lines as a Entertainment Host, but they keep moving my start date up and as of now I won't be leaving till after Thanksgiving.



All of this is pretty depressing. No one will take me on as a writer. The comedy book I wrote that everyone SAID was funny is getting zero responses from lit agencies, and I have re-written my query letter dozens of times. Nothing. So I am giving up hope on life. I have wanted to work in the entertainment business all my life. I'm 30 years old damn near. It's coming to the point where all my friends are successful, have homes and families, and I still work at a job an 18 year-old fresh out of high school can get. Meanwhile I busted my *** in college and feel it was a waste of time. Why is this happening?



I want to kill myself and end it all. Perhaps there is nothing after death and it will all go black. How depressing. Perhaps I will be reborn. But I need someone to be REAL with me and tell me why I'm not succeeding at my craft. And why others I know are. I'm tired of volunteering on film sets and working for free. That's for high school students. I need to get paid. What the hell?I want to Commit Suicide, Why?
Be a muslim..............the solution for all life problems .......beleive me ,just try, you dont like islam don't be a muslim ......but you guyz only know things they tell you about islam.......but did you ever know it ,please follow this link www.islamicbulletin.com/intro.htm
Please, please, please, please pleasseeeee don't commit suicide! You just have to give it time. So what you have a low paying job? Some people don't even have a job! Be grateful for what you have :) Only focus on the positive :)I want to Commit Suicide, Why?
There are good and bad times, both are necessary to develop yourself. You think you had very much bad luck and everything is against you鈥? But mainly you are against yourself. Everything, what we are getting, have we attract, and therefore we are responsible. You attract, what you think. See the movie: The Secret, for further explanation. Make a list, what you really want. Imagine the stuff with full gratefulness and happiness that you already have it, or will have it later. Before you go to sleep, and after you have slept, imagine what you really want and express gratefulness and happiness as you have it already. If you make suicide, you will be born again with the same problems. So do not run away from yourself, see you have enough for to eat, a warm shelter, so you live much better then 75% of the people in the world. You have to be thankful, what you already have, and then you get more what you really want. If you complain, guess, then you get more what you do not want.
I understand you are going through a very tough time in your life this is without a doubt an understatement.

I don't know much about the entertainment business. however i know my fair share of suicidal thoughts.

when i was ten years old i was very suicidal i felt that the whole world was against me i could do nothing right and nobody appreciated what i did.

i was the overweight fat kid in the corner with no friends. on top of this my parents had just broken up.

i became very paranoid and depressed my mum took me to see a psychiatrist which only made things worse as she wasn't a particuarly nice women.

she took me to see her after i started self harming believing i had no worth.

i moved schools and lost a lot of weight after which i gained confidence and made friends.

this was fine for two years until i started high school where the depression and paranoya again kicked in this left me feeling suicidal worthless and unneeded i had no friends in high school again and i was alone. i know i would have found these suicidal feelings much easier if i had a friend who i could of talked to about it.

the only thing that stopped me from committing suicide was something my dad said to me



Suicide is the most selfish thing in the world you can do. By committing suicide you are hurting your family your friends you neighbours everyone who knows you.

you leave them filled with guilt that they could have done something.
From my experience, most men hit a real low about the time they hit 30. It's a watershed age, at which they assumed most of their dreams and goals would already be accomplished. Instead, they tend to face disappointment, depression or despair. But 31 is only one year further ahead, and after 32 years of age is when most men start hitting their prime.



You've accomplished a LOT. You should be proud of everything you've done. You're not where you want to be right now, but you're far ahead of your peers who have already settled for a stagnant lot in life.



Set small goals that you can accomplish. Dabble with theater. Do more research in the market for your skills. Remember how many people have talked about how long it took them to become an "overnight success."



Suicide? Naw. You're way too ambitious and talented to give up.