God, I want to commit Suicide, help!?

Before judging me, please read my ENTIRE question.



I got hired to be a Youth Entertainment Host aboard Disney Cruise Lines. Their newest ship, the Disney Dream in fact. I was so excited. This was a chance of a lifetime. I waited over 7 months before they finally placed me on-board. I gave up my job at a museum of 4 years and also gave up my apartment and sold my furniture. I was ready to save up money, make connections and move to New York before the age of 30 (I'm 28 now).



The first week aboard was complete hell. They were still constructing the boat, so on top of learning my way around a half built monster of a ship, I was also thrown a huge script book and told I had to memorize all the programs in under a month. Mind you these are 20-30 different scripts, all with light and sound cues to remember and choreography. Yes I am a performer and YES Im used to memorizing lines, but not this many. Even Broadway actors don't have this much to do at once. On top of the scripts, Disney wanted me to also perform vigorous cleaning chores that included setting and cleaning up my programs- going from Deck 1 to Deck 12 to get supplies, liquid nitrogren, Eggs, cans, linens, etc. It was just overwhelming. The directors I worked with all had egos and all were nasty and wanted different things that I was trying to give them. And I had unorganized managers. I had to share a cabin with a roommate who liked to have sex a lot, and I finally had to tell him to knock it off so he and his girlfriend could do it somewhere else.



Instead of giving up right away, I managed to last 5 weeks. Then I told my managers I wanted to resign. I just couldn't take it anymore. On top of finally learning most of my programs and getting great feedback, they then told me I had ANOTHER binder of scripts coming my way. What the hell? This was just asking too much. I know its Disney and all, but really! Enough is enough.



I now am living back at my parents house. They were so nice to give me a room, let me join their cell phone plan and give me food on the table until I figure out what to do. Part of me feels guilty, but I did think about leaving for a good 5 weeks. I was not happy. But I still want to be in entertainment. Was I wrong to do this? I gave up everything to be at Disney, and then it wasn't what I expected at all. I am even feeling suicidal. Please help.God, I want to commit Suicide, help!?
I can't believe you are really suicidal over this...You have a place to sleep, food to eat, clothes to ware...parents who love you...So you tried something and it didn't work out...(we all learn from experience) if you wanted the job and did not try, how would you feel now?



You tried! What ever the reason, it was not for you: no one can say, "you did not try" not even you...



Think of all the experience you did gain from the 5 weeks you were there! You now have an idea what is too much for you and that will give you a better ability to judge a position the next time one comes up...if I was a betting man I would say that the same thing will never happen to you again because you have learned from it...



You were not wrong...you know what you can and cannot do so leaving when you did was not wrong....by the way any position on a cruse-ship (other than perhaps the upper chain of command) is going to be the way you describe...sea life is a whole different world.......just as being a stewardess is or any job that involves traveling with the public...



You may have to find work again outside of entertainment and build your resume with local volunteer work, plays, and such... while searching for that entertainment job.......
No point addressing your question to god mate. Grow a pair and get on with things, your 30 years old and you think what you have listed are real problems. Hilarious.God, I want to commit Suicide, help!?
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

-- Woody Allen
Don't do it bro. Things will eventually work out for the best. God has a plan for you.
First things first. This is not the end of the world, you are not dying.



I can partially understand your situation and the guilt you feel, but if your parents are understanding they would just be happy you are safe and well.



secondly, always remember better to have tried than not at all. Think about it, however **** the job must have been would you have know what it entails to do that type of job, and have learned first hand. you have an experienced it and will never forget it and will be able to reflect on be it good or bad.

now you have decided that particular line of entertainment in not suited to you, you'll know never to do it again .

You sound intelligent enough to realise you were going in the wrong direction and got out (although before another is fixed up Mmm maybe not a good move) and you have a new start enabling you to reserach what new direction to take, be excited not down about it, I have totally been there and I am now in a job I really like and progressing really well



Good luck ...and the suicide part. just think how much your mum and dad would be devastated! you are their creation they would be distraught!
Disney is a business. It is marketing its name to the public as if it is something magical, but in the end, it is in the business of exchanging products and services for money.



Many if not most competitive businesses will overload employees and then let them go without a "thank you." Don't assume that a business cares for you or will give you lasting fulfillment in life. It sounds like your family is doing a better job at that than Disney.
SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. You don't know how many people you hurt when you commit it. But we all make mistakes, whether they be big or small. You know what we do? Put them behind us and start thinking about the future :) Now get out there and say "SCREW YOU DISNEY! IM MY OWN SCRIPT-LEARNER" :)
You are young. You must expect such trials in life to come your way. Seek the Lord's guidance and He will get you through the tough times.



If you don't know the Lord, then it is useless to ask for His help. Once you become a child of God, He will listen to your prayers and help you through life.



Here is one of my favorite hymns. It gets me through some tough times.





Day by Day

Day by day, and with each passing moment,?

Strength I find, to meet my trials here;?

Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,?

I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.?

He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure?

Gives unto each day what He deems best—

Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,?

Mingling toil with peace and rest. ??



Every day, the Lord Himself is near me?

With a special mercy for each hour;?

All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,?

He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;?

The protection of His child and treasure?

Is a charge that on Himself He laid;?

“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”?

This the pledge to me He made.??



Help me then in every tribulation?

So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,?

That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation?

Offered me within Thy holy Word.?

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,?

Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,?

One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,?

Till I reach the promised land.
first things first. if you're looking for that great job, it doesn't exist. work is work. all jobs suck, but it whats you make of it. you have to find something that you somewhat like and the dislikes you can live with. anyone that says they love their job doesn't really work and is probably very low paid. like the girls you find working at the tanning salon.

have you tried another cruise line? they probably know how miserable disney is to work for and your 5 weeks on board might carry some weight. you also have 4 years at the museum, maybe another museum for the time being until you get back on your feet and decide what it is you want to be doing.

finally you re still relatively young. its way too early to give up. everyone has set backs in life. don't sweat it and be sure to be a gracious guest.
did the homeless guy with a radio voice give up? no he didnt he now works for the cavilers..i think you should get your museum job back and get that an apartment and spend some money on an agent to pursue your acting career.
Every one in this word have problem.You are not alone why becuse we are blink and whom we are follow they are also blind.



Resion:-



Every human have four defect

1-Inperfect sences

2-illusion

3-mistake

4-cheating propencity



you should understand no one is perfect



-life means situation

Example-



you think when you was a child there was a situation -you was not aware with this wold



even you do not know how to move

but you try

again and again

now you think you can move





Every one want interesting life but they do not know source

so we should follow absolute truth
Do not do that, please.



You made a mistake, everyone does. It may have been horrible, but just think; you don't ever have to go through it again. It's over, you're only 28. You still have the rest of your life.

You obviously have loving parents if they're letting you stay with them, think about how distraught they'd be if you died. It's not even worth thinking about.



In a way, it's a good thing you tried it, otherwise you'd still be wishing to go there. You went there and it wasn't how you thought it'd be, but now you can carry on. Just think, if you didn't go sooner you'd be wasting your days still waiting to get a chance on-board.

Keep your head up, it'll be okay. You'll get back on track, i'm sure of it.



In the meantime, if you're still feeling like that, try buying some of those books full of inspiring quotes and stories, or watch uplifting movies. Try going to a job centre and explain your situation, and how you're still looking for a job in entertainment.



Well done for not giving up straight away, that shows you're strong, and you're strong enough to overcome this.



good luck xxx
Do NOT kill yourself! you ARE worth it! You tried to do this but they made it so hard. It's not your fault. Find a new less demanding job, and start looking into auditions for roles and acting bits. You can do it! Best of luck! :)